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Tao of Seduction Seduction interview the beautiful mind of the month


Margherita" Croft ", 78,, Sicily, promoters, gives valuable advice to us boys about seduction and love.

Hello Margaret, grazie per averci concesso questa intervista. Passiamo subito alla prima domanda: qual'è la prima cosa che noti in un uomo?
La prima cosa che noto in un uomo a primissimo impatto è l'aspetto fisico. Ma se possiede quella bellezza quasi perfetta , fredda e troppo curata di un manichino, mi limito solo a guardarlo come se guardassi un bel quadro. L'uomo che piace a me veramente deve avere FASCINO! Questa qualità la possiede veramente solo chi ha una vera gran personalità.

Perciò a quanto pare non bisogna essere per forza bellissimi per attirare una bella ragazza come te; bene questo ci rincuora. Ok, ora ci dici quali sono le caratteristiche e qualità che cerchi in un uomo e quelle che non puoi prescindere?
In un uomo cerco appunto un "UOMO", sicuro di sè, coraggioso, simpatico, galante, dolce, empatico, intelligente e brillante (uno come me insomma;) che sappia "adattarsi" a tutte le situazioni. Non il bamboccione bello con cui puoi discutere solo di lampade, palestra, macchine o calcio! La bellezza aiuta, ma non è tutto!

Quanto conta l'aspetto fisico per te?
Conta abbastanza ,ma come ho già detto prima non è tutto!
Meglio un'uomo meno bello ma con una bella personalità piuttosto che un'uomo figo ma che non ne possiede.

Ok quindi in teoria c'è possibilità anche per noi medio-men. Ora, quale pensi sia il miglior approccio che un uomo possa usare per attirare la tua attenzione?
Beh io comunico molto attraverso lo sguardo ed un uomo per attirare la mia attenzione deve fare la medesima cosa. Non occorre chissà quale gesto eclatante, purchè lo sguardo che ricevo non sia da maniaco allupato, o da uomo troppo convinto ! :)

Perciò attenti voi maniaci allupati che non potete far altro che spaventarle le donne. Ora Margherita ci dici se ti può piacere la timidezza in un uomo?
No, la timidezza in un uomo non mi piace perchè credo che alla base della timidezza ci sia insicurezza, frustrazione, paura, complessi ect. Ed un uomo deve essere confident and courageous. It may also have some emotional outbursts, but should be able to better manage their negative emotions, to adapt to any circumstance.

So men, all lessons in self-esteem and self confidence. What do you think are the ingredients for a lasting relationship?
The ingredients for a lasting relationship in my opinion are: love, respect, honesty, commitment, balance, passion, intimacy, collaboration, dialogue and special feeling. A good report should increase self-esteem and confidence in themselves and in the other, not the other way.

Now on a hot topic. Riesci a perdonare un tradimento?
Beh... io risponderei con un'altra domanda, esistono uomini che non tradiscono?:) Partendo da questo presupposto posso dirti che il tradimento è sicuramente un'avvenimento doloroso per chi lo riceve, che logora dentro e ti fa mettere in discussione, ma bisogna sempre andare a fondo e capire perchè una persona sente o ha sentito il bisogno di tradire. Se ce l'ha nel DNA, prendere o lasciare !:) Io opterei per la seconda, è più facile trovare un 'altro uomo che la propria autostima!:)
Se è stato solo un'impulso sessuale del momento, beh forse potrei, ma dovrei trovarmi nella situazione per poter valutare e decidere. Poi ci possono essere altri motivi per which betrays a male and every situation is different so it should be assessed individually and then my reactions are not predictable.

Although betraying a girl like Margaret, does not seem possible. Ok, very last question and then you let all your suitors , what do you think the best way for a man to continue to provide confirmation of his love?
Never stop courting his wife and never take anything for granted!

So, men, even if your wife is with you, remember the words of Margaret, otherwise someone else might court her at your place ...

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What do women want?
The planet Venus illuminated by the women's magazines

" Betray betray the thought is already fantastic ... If on another man, means they are not satisfied ... In my report missing something. And if I let another in my fantasies, it means that there is a vacuum. "
(For me - female psychology)

False
Betraying the thought is not to betray neither voluntary because there is no premeditation, especially because it is impossible to avoid it (how do you drive out the uncomfortable thoughts?). Estrange dreaming mind is a feminine attitude, perhaps because many women have grown up with the ideal of the prince. Moreover, for those who have been invented soap opera? For women. For men, however, pornography ... there is a reason!
Seriously, in a pair, after the phase of falling, there is a similar stage to where the child starts to walk away from the mother to explore and meet so many people that often socializes. But it always comes back to mother. This time, healthy for the child but for the love, is experienced differently by men and women. The first, "exploring" all too often betray seriously. Why are carried away from the instincts, or simply because they have testosterone in the circulation. Women explore, dream, dream but almost never act (at least at this stage). Holy women!

"... you Runaway Bride. He will not go behind the line and you. But as soon as you realize you lose interest. It 's the most classic meccanisimi love."
(Cosmopolitan)

True
But gone are the days when this was a typical male behavior. Today, probably more women to put in place, often unwittingly, this type of strategy. The man is a hunter but fears dependence on prey, and above all, afraid of being somehow driven to hunt by same prey. The men are afraid because they fear to bind much more than women, the abandonment. A man, when you fall in love, falls in love seriously. And since the potentially difficult and painful affair, trying to avoid. The strategy often works because of the flight makes safe prey. He is reassured by the fact that so much "she does not fit" and if played with more peace of mind, just for the fun of trying to play, to challenge themselves and have fun, to be sure that if she does not want him then does not want a story and if he does not want a story will not ask him to change, not ask him to present it to her, e. .. Above all, do not ask him: "When we get married?".

"There's always a woman, when you pet, want to complete sexual intercourse. What can destabilize man, who instead has sex in a linear path. Caresses, cuddles, kisses the woman can be content of this too. "
The republic of women

True
It 's a mistake that many men commit. If you accept my kisses, then there is. If he accepts the caresses and cuddling, then we mean it. If he decides to come for a drink at my house is really made. For women, needless to say, the opposite is true: if a man invites you to his house, say one or two times (good thing too!) And you do not immediately throws the wall or on the bed, then it is the man in your life. Why do not you think that just because he knows resist, because he likes to talk and listen and why he loves the petting. Many women can replace the love and sex with the sensory, and many are most gratified by this. The report is made of sensory contact, cuddling, caressing, exploring, searching for familiarity and intimacy. It 'a way of bringing into play all five senses. You see, you caresses, you smell it, we listen without purpose and without end, because in this type of relationship should not "get" anywhere.

"If your ex does not give in, here's how to reassure . Ask your partner if you feel sexually satisfied . If you do not talk about her, interpretalo as a good sign. not disappoint with a scene or unfounded accusations. Do not think about the past like this. "
(Living healthy and beautiful)

True / False
also depends on how much time has passed. Within two or three months after the break is still lawful 's ex you try again, after it becomes a sign of something wrong. And 'likely that he was not clear. Nothing creates more damage than the typical male between the phrases of "release": "I need some time to reflect." That is not to say yes or no, but that means "Break boxes in a hurry and you send me to hell because I can not do that. "Lose a Guy" is the most typical among male tactics but also the one that creates more confusion, the woman left before you feel abandoned and excluded ("If has a problem, why do not I talk? "). Then click the evil of guilt (" What have I done? "Where did I go wrong?") finally discovered the premeditation and the joke ("For him it was already over three months ago and I have to keep waiting and hope), take revenge, "You ruined my life, for at least double the time that you have used to ruin me." plain speaking, the gentlemen, that is better! For everyone.

"You want a man well equipped with testosterone? Choose it talker. The verbal fluency corresponds to a potency to be tense. If your talking is well dissolved, its length is guaranteed to bed."
(Modern Woman)

False
gab If you want fast, who has the gab so much testosterone, but will also suffer from anxiety, then most probably premature ejaculation.
Value (maybe) intense, but too short. If you are going to a man who talks so much, then it probably needs to compensate, to fill gaps that may come out of fear. A man who speaks so often and quickly, you may need to stay centro dell'attenzione sempre e comunque. Avrà pure tanto testosterone, ma non lo usa certo per soddisfare i bisogni della sua compagna. A letto c'è prima lui, solo lui: tipico dei narcisisti. Al contrario, un buon amante è silenzioso perchè è un attento osservatore.

Marinella Cozzolino Da "For men - n°28"

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comparing male and female What do women want from men? Everything! How to make her fall in love

Nel film Ricomincio da capo , Bill Murray interpreta il ruolo di Phil, un giornalista televisivo egocentrico che si occupa delle previsioni meteo, mentre Andie MacDowell è la sua giovane produttrice Rita. Fanno colazione insieme in un caffè Phil and asks: "Who is your man, that is, your perfect man?".

"Well, first of all it is too humble to know that it is perfect. E 'smart, helpful, funny. And' romantic and courageous. It also has a nice body, but does not run to look in the mirror every two minutes. E ' brilliant, sensitive, sweet, and then is not ashamed to cry. By the way, loves animals and children, and changing diapers full of poo. And then play an instrument and wants so much to his mother ... "
At one point, Phil interrupts: 'It's always a man we're talking about, right? ". (...)
This scene perfectly mirrors the current situation, why do not è solo Andie MacDowell ad aspettarsi di tutto e di più. La maggior parte delle donne se lo aspetta.

In nessun'altra epoca storica le donne si sono aspettate tanto dagli uomini. E, come la battuta di Phil rende evidente, l'elenco dei requisiti ha una connotazione androgina. Se vi sembra che le donne vogliano che siate al tempo stesso l'uomo perfetto e la donna perfetta, avete ragione. E' così. E non si vergognano a dirlo. Sentite alcuni commenti ricavati dal sondaggio su "New Woman".

• "Uomini, riconquistate il vostro lato femminile."
• "Gli uomini devono riprendere contatto con la loro parte femminile".
• Gli uomini dovrebbero avere più caratteristiche femminili".

With some women, one gets the impression that are not at all aware of the nature of their desires completely unrealistic. Not express preferences, are non-negotiable demands. Hear what Anne said in New York: "I want a man who can cook and also to fix things at home ... a sensitive man as well as confident. I want all these things, I need it, and I'll settle for nothing less. "
We were particularly surprised by how much anger build up women every day. On the one hand, it is not surprising. Their expectations are greatly exaggerated. What man could meet them? (...)

first argument to be corrected: the male ego. Or, as they call usually women, the legendary male ego.
It 's true, there are many men with a particularly strong ego. Women have a love-hate relationship with the male ego, and when they appreciate it, call it self-confidence . If nothing else, a strong ego comes in handy to defend themselves in a competitive work environment. We can sympathize with Amanda, Ohio, who writes: "What women fail to understand men is their unshakable certainty of having to always be right."
It takes a confident man to think that Amanda is not diminishing, when it says that it is not always the case. But there are a lot of women that they take it the same way if they dare to even suggest that they could non avere ragione.

Troviamo irritante che una donna ci tratti dall'alto in basso, agiti un dito verso di noi dicendo:"Per l'amor del cielo, renditi conto che non sei l'ombellico del mondo". Quello che in realtà vuol farci capire è che è lei l'ombellico del mondo. Il che ci porta a parlare del mitico ego femminile.
L'ego femminile non viene sbanderiato come quello maschile. Quindi potreste non riconoscerlo subito. Ma è lì, acquattato come un gatto. Il tratto caratteristico dell'ego femminile è un bisogno insaziabile di adorazione

Gli uomini devono capire che in una relazione una donna vuole e ha bisogno che lui la faccia sentire unica: la donna più bella, più sexy, più sweet and wonderful of his life. A woman needs to feel better.

This is a first definition. But to be adored is not enough.

The legendary female ego wants to be worshiped by man perfect.
"My ideal man must be tall, sensitive, sweet, caring, spiritual, honest, understanding, and must love me for life," writes a woman who answered the survey anonymously Magellan. This woman began his response stating: "Men should be less selfish." And without the slightest trace of irony.
Another woman who answered the survey in turn has presented a long list of demands for Santa Claus.

I like men tall, dark and handsome, that make me compliments, devote all their attention to me, are monogamous, do not have children and want a long term relationship. I am looking for someone who makes me feel special and never been married. A man who does not drink, do not smoke and do not use drugs. I want a special man.

Another characteristic feature of mythical female ego is the desire that men know how to read minds and between the lines. Feel the honest declaration of Trixie, 28 years old, single, lawyer of Philadelphia.

Sometimes they are very demanding, but I also like not to feel this. So, take care of me without my will notice is always the best. Not that I say: "I want this." You know what I mean. In essence, I want someone who is able to read my mind. What is the best way to cuddle.

Anyone who volunteers to meet Trixie? And some believe that will ever be satisfied?
To be honest, the desire that men are able to read between the lines does not arise only from the ego. Expresses a component that is simply ... women.

Women communicate in an indirect way. This facilitates their interaction with other women, but more complicated than with men. In fact, a woman told us about the "Donnes," the language that women use to communicate with each other.

(...) The legendary female ego believes that the "Donnes" is the only language on Earth. When men do not talk like them, women are raging. They come to insults. Too heavy. (...) Today

women say proudly that we pretedere of a certain quality - and its opposite. You know the concept of a rude but sensitive?
A study of 104 British and Japanese women showed that the women preferred men with very masculine during the week when ovulate. When he was shown them the same group of photos in the other three weeks of the cycle, it was found that men find attractive-looking and less rugged-looking più sensibile.
Abbiamo ricevuto una marea di richieste di questo tipo da parte delle donne che hanno risposto al sondaggio. Dana del Texas dichiara: "Le donne vogliono la parità, vogliono essere trattate equamente. Ma vogliamo anche essere trattate come dee. E' questo che voglio".
E chi non lo vorrebbe?
Il sentimento espresso da Dana, ci scommettiamo, è alla base di molte incomprensioni tra uomini e donne. Non è forse il presupposto per l'insorgere di problemi? Quando si arriva al dunque, di solito significa cose del tipo: anche lui deve fare il bucato, ma lei non taglierà l'erba dal prato. Lei può guadagnare il doppio di lui, ma lui deve comunque spendere di più per lei.
Questo sembra perfettamente logical to many women, who can not imagine why on earth we can not understand it.
If you're not already completely confused and can withstand a final contradiction, here served. Invariably, after doth the list of opposite qualities that we should strive to be worthy of acquiring them, the women tell us, how did Sarah from California: "Just be yourself."
Aaaaaarrrrgh!
Jane, a woman who attended one of the conversations in our living room, it made an interesting suggestion: "I believe that women should marry gay men, and then have lovers."
Jane, maybe you do not have a point.

From "What women really want" - L. Roy Stains & Stefan Bechtel

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Sogni di bambini. 6 miliardi di Altri from GoodPlanet on Vimeo .

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: seduction techniques


Some will read this article and think I'm wrong. I admit, this is about to confuse and manipulate people's emotions, and in particular to those people who want so much mingled with you. In an ideal world, I would agree. It would be preferable for the people that you like you fell into the arms, without having to do anything. Unfortunately, in reality does not always work that way.

may happen that you spend months to live, breathe, talk nonsense and dying of love for a person to no avail. E 'in such cases that the techniques of seduction seems following gifts of heaven. It is not about black magic and I do not mean that these techniques can make you fall in love with someone against his will. But nonetheless serve to move the scales in your favor.

be around ... but then make yourself unreachable More
interact with a person, the more likely it is that you appreciate. Several studies show that repeated exposure to a stimulus makes us like it any more (the only case that is not the case when our initial reaction is negative). So never mind the top being sullen or unreachable. Instead find many excuses to spend time together.

Now comes the best beware. As soon as you're convinced he had won and leisure begins to be a little less available. And then even less, up to almost not to see more. In this way, effectively triggers the technique of seduction of the "law of scarcity." They know it all, people want what they can not have and are always available if you dilute your value. If every time you leave the house there was a brand new Ferrari for you, not considered so precious, right? The law of scarcity makes you wish. Try to be always present, and then no longer be so, you'll want and like best. I'm saying something obvious, but the fact that pleasure is important. We un gran parlare di chimica, passione, attrazione sessuale e persino di amore, eppure il semplice fatto di "piacere" non ottiene nemmeno uno sguardo. Gli opposti non si attraggono sul lungo termine - cerchiamo un partner che sia simile a noi. Per molti di noi non ha senso vedere amici che non ci piacciono, quindi perchè farlo con un'amante? Se qualcuno ci piace, questo è più importante a lungo termine persino dell'amore. (...)

Lascia che sia lei a fare la carina con te
Se fai qualcosa di gentile per qualcuno, ti senti bene a due livelli. Sei compiaciuto di te stesso e molto ben disposto verso la persona che hai viziato. Per giustificare gli sforzi o la spesa, spesso tendiamo a idealizzare queste persone per renderle degne delle attenzioni! Risultato: quella persona ci piace di più. Quando qualcuno fa qualcosa di carino per noi, a noi fa piacere. Ma molte altre emozioni entrano in gioco - e non tutte positive. A volte ci sentiamo sopraffatti. Si crea tensione per adeguarsi al tipo di persona che ha meritato un simile atto o dono, per non parlare della necessità di rendere il favore. E' tutto ancora più complicato se la "cosa carina" proviene da qualcuno che ti piace ma di cui non sei ancora sicuro, Hai capito? Quando siamo infatuati di una persona, vogliamo disperatamente fare cose carine per lei. Ma è molto meglio lasciare che siano gli altri a viziare te.

Occhio allo sguardo
Lo psicologo di Harvard, Zick Rubin, tried to find out if you could measure the love in a scientific manner and succeeded by recording the time spent by the lovers to look at each other. He found that couples are deeply in love look for 75 percent of the time when talking and are slower to look away when some stranger dare intrude. In a normal conversation, people look for 30-60 percent of the time. The importance of what is now known as Rubin's Scale "is obvious: you can understand how two people love each other by measuring the time spent in adoring eyes. Some psychologists still use it during the consultations of couples to determine how much affection there is still between the two. This information are also particularly useful if you want someone to fall in love with you. Here's how: If you look at someone you like for 75 percent of the time while talking to you, you will have bypassed her brain. The brain knows that the last time someone looked at that person for so long and so often, it meant that there was love. Then think: "Ok, obviously we are in love and begins to leave feniltilamina (PEA). It is a chemical cousin of amphetamines and is secreted by the nervous system when we're falling in love. Because his hands sweat, your stomach seems to leap and the heart starts to beat faster. The more PEA the person you like pump in your bloodstream, the more likely you are to fall in love. Even if you can not honestly force someone to fall in love with you but is at least remotely interested in it really is possible to trigger the production of PEA using this technique of seduction. Test. I think the results will leave you stunned. Give someone the sensation of being in love when he is with you and it will not be convinced that much because of it!

not take his eyes off
There is another crucial discovery in the search for Rubin couples take longer to look away when someone joins the conversation. Again, if you do it with someone who is not (yet) in love with you, it tricks the brain and there will be flows PEA ancora maggiori nel sangue. L'esperto in relazioni Leil Lownes chiama questa tecnica "toffee eyes", occhi caramellosi. Guarda semplicemente negli occhi la persona che ti piace e lascia lo sguardo lì, anche quando ha finito di parlare o qualcun altro si unisce alla conversazione. Quando devi proprio distogliere lo sguardo (dopo 3 o 4 secondi), fallo lentamente e con riluttanza. Forse questa tecnica può non sembrare particolarmente ispirata ma, credimi, se applicata correttamente può letteralmente toglierti il fiato. Se sei troppo timido per guardare direttamente, lascia perdere le caramelle e pensa a una palla che rimbalza. Distogli lo sguardo e guarda chi si è unito alla conversazione. Ma ogni volta che termina una frase, lascia che il tuo sguardo rebounds on the person who dreams. It 's also a measure of control - control your reactions to what is said - and it shows that you're more interested in her that the other person.

From "Conquistala so part 2" - Tracey Cox (Annex Fox Man No. 9 / 2005)

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When love ends (for women)



A dropout is a heartbreaking moment It is also an opportunity for renewal. Because the pain is only one side of the separation. The other is a look to the future: they cleared the rubble to make room for changes.

This time it's really over. He left without voltarsi, proprio lui che diceva che non sarebbe mai successo. E in un attimo ci si ritrova sole, sdraiate sul divano, con lo stomaco chiuso dalla disperazione. Torturate da ricordi, pensieri, paure improvvise. Quando un amore finisce tutto sembra senza senso. "Purtroppo l'abbandono è una ferita che non si può rimarginare senza soffrire" precisa Gianna Schelotto, psicologa e sessuologa, autrice del libro Distacchi e altri addii e di Uomini altrove. Storie di cinquantenni in fuga . "All'inizio si sta da cani. Ci sembra di avere perso una parte di noi, quella costruita negli anni passati insieme al compagno. I desideri, i progetti e la nostra stessa immagine cominciano to waver. As if a piece of our identity had gone with him. But after those first, long moments, we realize that sadness is just one of the two aspects of separation. The other side of the coin is a look to the future: the rubble would be cleared to make room for changes. Realizing that growth requires more and to sacrifice something. "
That 's what helps to emerge stronger from the pain." Rebirth begins suffering. That lasts about nine months: the pregnancy, "says John Holland, a psychologist and psychoanalyst who has addressed the issue of abandonment in his book The feelings in a relationship." This is the time needed to clear the brain image of those who went away and regenerate. So to find the desire to pull on his head. "Being hurt is a normal reaction, and inevitably, if you do not strength, even healthy." Endure the pain, showing strong, defiant, disenchanted does not help, "says the psychologist." Emotions need to follow their path and to arrive at their outlets. There are the old feelings and be born again. Only in this way we can fall in love again. "The secret is to retrace the paths of memory in thought." Backwards A discovery that becomes a kind of emotional purification, "says John Holland.
" That will lead us to understand what went work and to warn us from repeating the same mistakes in future. " Perhaps, in a corner of the mind, a voice, almost a torment, saying that something was wrong. A drop

rarely comes overnight. It is usually preceded by a series of clear signals, but ignored. He talks little, only superficial things. The moments of complicity are becoming increasingly rare. Again with the memory of the children in the past does not mean, however, destroy or deny a romance. "It is not easy, but we must do a shot and recover the good times. Exploiting the memories, we bring ourselves indirectly," says Gianna Schelotto. Just what does it take to feel safer and freer. "Women are brought to the dedication," said Ivana Castoldi, psychologist and psychotherapist, author of Better sun. Why it is important enough in themselves . "It 'a biological feature. It is they who give life, home, cultivate it. So they tend to put everyone's needs, including human, before anything. But when he is gone, can pull off the energy they have inside. " Behold, now is the time to devote to themselves.
"There is little stunned in an afternoon of shopping in noisy evenings with friends, occasional events that are ends in themselves. They do not change the attitude of an injured woman" continues Castoldi. "To renew the forces necessary to collect and invest in something more stable. An interest, a leisure activity to be made a regular agenda. A Wednesday night for the reading, the cinema every Friday, walk in the weekend. A fixture, even a foretaste of his mind. Know that around the corner there is something beautiful that you would expect from security. "Without going too fast, but with the certainty of having conquered a space that is all for himself and will never leave us.

" To overcome the pain it takes a bit of discipline, "says Ivana Castoldi." These four exercises help to free from the torment of a broken love affair. "

1. Write a letter to yourself , striving not so much list of errors and faults, but rather to describe your emotions, feelings and reactions. It will help you to know you better and understand what you need in a new report
2. Make a list of aims and objectives be very practical and handy to be pursued to change your life. This exercise will teach you to open your eyes to the future, finally bringing the center of your needs and interests, perhaps to facilitate the long-neglected partner.
3. Stores objects that remind us of the love affair . It 's a gesture that even a symbolic point of view reflects the intention to move on without regret and nostalgia.
4. Stop pretend detached. You can not forget from day to day. It 's a hypocrite forcing. At certain times there is nothing better than to vent freely.
   

If she left you, let her go. Why do you want to live miserably? Force, supports the strike, did not give in! Goodbye my love.
Catullo

From "For me - n ° 02"

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Red License Plates Ontario

with extreme satisfaction and "hope", MI HONOR TO DISCLOSE AND LINKS RELATED RESEARCH AND DEVELOPMENTS, THAT DR. ARMANDO Vecchietti pointed out to me. FIND THE RIGHT SECTION OF THE FIXED LINKS "BUTTON" TO STAY UPDATED ON E "word of mouth. SEARCH IS NOT THE REAL 'LIFE ..... here's PROOF!!

Marco La Rosa

"Doing scientific research means asking questions of nature.
Watch and listen to only what nature has to say and not what you want your sponsor.
Forget for a moment even what you learned in school and be ready to re-examine your old "certainties".
Compare new knowledge with old and do not try to be intelligent or dull.
E 'enough for you to be humble.
Are you afraid of what the your colleagues may say about your search you can never be a true seeker.
not try to "steer" the experiments, first try to understand and then execute it faithfully.
Trust your feelings, but then check the results with tools that are independent from your senses.
not try to develop ideas on something you've never seen.
not hide the mistakes, talk about them in a frank and be proud to know them.
They are the most secure indicators of your street.

A reasonable question that we ask ourselves in the field of oncology is: "How can cancer research despite all these years of intensive research and billions of dollars spent has not yet been able to scratch even a little the riddle of cancer?
We can also ask: "... but cancer research is really looking in the right direction oppure e’ necessario ed opportuno cambiarla ?”
Tutti sappiamo che tra i problemi irrisolti dell’oncologia quello più indagato è come si forma la cellula cancerosa.
Per la ricerca oncologica classica non c’e’ dubbio che essa si formi da una mutazione genetica della cellula sana.
Per spiegare la sua origine, i ricercatori hanno indagato in numerosi settori cercando cause virali, immunologiche o genetiche ma fino ad oggi non sono mai approdati a nulla di definitivo.
Nonostante il bilancio non proprio soddisfacente, molti credono ancora che un vaccino, le cellule staminali o i farmaci “intelligenti” prima o poi risolveranno il problema.
Ma come è possibile che una cellula sana become cancerous and is capable of destroying a healthy body in other ways?
After all, the cancer cell is a very fragile organism, kills himself with a breath and when it is attacked it is unable to mount an effective resistance. In truth
cells of affected tissues, long before the most visible manifestations of the disease, undergo changes that lead to the formation only after the cancer cell.
We'll see soon as it is a mistake to believe that the cancer cell develops directly from the genetic mutation of a healthy cell.
Most likely if the fight against cancer has not achieved what it intended to achieve is because it has continued to consider la cellula cancerosa come l’oggetto della ricerca senza rendersi conto che il cancro non è la malattia di una cellula ma la malattia di tutto l’organismo.

Dr. Armando Vecchietti.

http://www.cellulacancerosa.it/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=18&Itemid=16&lang=it

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The Art of Stress


Erich Fromm was convinced: "Love is not a feeling to reach of everybody. " Breaking the romantic vision of 19th century, who spoke of love as a feeling person, taking possession of the person, the analyst believed that love was an 'activity'. Anyone aspiring to know the love would consider it an art. It was no longer to get back to the events, but must make an effort of will and learn to love. In 1956, Erich Fromm wrote his Art of Love, a work that has experienced much success. His critique of capitalism and social conformity, his invitation to know each other better, as well as references to the wisdom of the East, were in keeping with the expectations of his contemporaries. Who was interested in the teachings of Marx, Freud, Jung or Hindu or Buddhist priests in Kathmandu to find answers in his work. After years when "peace and love ', the Art of Loving continued to be published with a rare continuity in the publishing world. Fromm does not provide miracle solutions, but rather what to avoid and report to suggest the way to get a union "harmonious and lasting."

Love is a hard work
to become masters in the art of love, Fromm explained, "we must proceed as if you were learning any other art, such as music, painting, sculpture or medicine ". This means starting with the study of theory, and then begin to put into practice. Fromm compared love the craft, or the martial arts (for example, was riferimento al tiro con l'arco e allo zen). Lasciava poco spazio alla fantasia, preferendo il lavoro costante e la saggezza.

Si può comprendere questa visione dell'amore solo pensando al contesto sociale in cui operava Fromm. Ma l'amore non è appannaggio di pochi esperti. Al contrario, questo sentimento rifugge ogni insegnamento. E' indubbio che il processo amoroso tragga benefici da un apprendistato, ma questo non ha a che vedere con un'arte come la scultura: sarebbe impensabile imparare a modellare il partner con marmo e scalpello.

Evitare tre errori
Secondo Fromm, la maggior parte degli innamorati commette tre errori. Il primo è credere che "il problema essenziale dell'amore sia sapere come to be loved, instead of learning when it comes to love. "The second is to assume that problems are problems of love," object "rather than" capacity ". The third is to confuse" the initial experience of falling in with the 'love of learning ".

Fromm stresses the importance of overcoming narcissism and dependency needs to come to realize a real exchange. One of the keys to the success of love is to admit that being ideal (the good object") does not exist and it is good to learn to adapt to its shortcomings and work on our own. Making love last means tirelessly to make this work. Today it seems easier to give than to receive, contrary to what he thought Fromm. Why donate means putting the other in a state of debt and take control of the situation. Receiving means, on the contrary, that one is always at stake. Stressing the importance of the gift, Fromm urged to free themselves from egoism.

Practicing discipline
According to Fromm, the first to learn an art must "learn a lot more, often with no apparent connections." Was thus considered themselves to become "an instrument for the practice of art." "Getting up at the same time, devote part of their time to activities such as meditation, reading, listening to music ... do not escape, at least not to excess, with distractions such as novels or thrillers, not eating or drinking too much" , rappresentavano per lo psicanalista principi ineludibili.

Quanta austerità in questi suggerimenti! Una ricetta per curare il colesterolo non sarebbe troppo diversa... A meno che non si trattasse di raccomandazioni per prepararsi al meglio all'amore fisico... Ci vuole certamente disciplina in amore, ma di un altro tipo: nell'attenzione costante all'altro. Nel ricordarsi sempre che nulla è scontato, che bisogna ogni giorno riconquistare il partner.

Sapersi concentrare e restare soli
Fromm consigliava la pratica della meditazione. Raccomandava di "imparare a restare soli con se stessi senza leggere, ascoltare la radio, fumare o bere"; suggeriva di praticare con regolarità esercizi di rilassamento and respiration.

You can learn to become autonomous in creating your own work or when you learn to distance themselves from the values \u200b\u200bof their parents. The learning you get more autonomy by taking responsibility for that due to simple concentration.

them as they beg for Fromm
true love against the narcissism that impels us to see each other through our desires and our fears. Also according to Fromm, you can get to know each other as it really is "cultivating humility, objectivity, patience, faith and reason."

And 'Just efforts to understand each other and accept it as is. But condizione di ammettere che non potremo mai conoscerlo fino in fondo. Essere convinti di conoscere il partner ci impedisce di vederlo cambiare e rompe il filo della comunicazione.

Per Fromm si può raggiungere l'amore completo solo dopo un lungo lavoro su se stessi e donandosi all'altro. "L'amore non è possibile se non quando due persone comunicano tra loro a partire dal centro della propria esistenza", riassumeva il grande psicanalista.

Ivan Sirtori da "Psychologies n°02"

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love, sex and orgasm


La scarica sessuale, come tutti sanno, ha la funzione di liberare la tensione. Perciò una discussion of stress should always include an analysis of the sexual orgasm. But first I want to present an overview of the nature of stress.
stress resulting from the imposition of a force or pressure, which contrasts mobilizing the body's energy. If the organism can escape from this course will not be under stress. There are natural stresses that are part of life and that no body can escape, but usually is also well equipped to meet the fight. Then there are the pressures arising from social conditions, which vary with the cultural situation of the individual. One example is driving in traffic of a highway, where you need to be costantemente vigili per evitare pericolosi incidenti. In una società altamente competitiva come la nostra pressioni del genere sono quasi troppo numerose per elencarle tutte.
I rapporti interpersonali sono spesso carichi di tensione per via delle richieste a cui si viene sottoposti. Ogni volta che c'è una minaccia di violenza l'individuo è sotto stress. Ci sono infine gli stress delle costrizioni autoimposte che agiscono sul corpo allo stesso modo delle forze esterne.
(...)
Una scarica sessuale soddisfacente scarica l'eccitazione in eccesso del corpo, riducendone notevolmente il livello complessivo di tensione. Nel sesso l'eccesso di eccitazione si concentra sull'apparato genitale e si scarica nel climax. L'esperienza di una scarica sessuale soddisfacente lascia un senso di calma, di rilassamento, e spesso sopraggiunge il sonno. L'esperienza di per sè è estremamente piacevole e appagante. Può far pensare: "Ah! Allora è questa la vita. Sembra così bello, così giusto".
Questo implica che ci sono esperienze o incontri sessuali che non sono soddisfacenti e che non portano a una simile conclusione. Si può avere un contatto sessuale insoddisfacente in cui l'eccitazione cresce ma non raggiunge un climax e non viene scaricata. Se ciò accade si genera spesso uno stato di frustrazione, di irrequietezza e di irritabilità. Ma l'assenza del climax non produce necessariamente frustrazione. Quando il livello di eccitazione sessuale è basso, failure to achieve climax does not disturb the body. It can create unhappiness if the failure on the psychic level is seen as a sign of impotence. But you can avoid this mental illness by recognizing that the lack of climax was due to the low level of sexual arousal, in this case sexual contact, if it occurs between two people who love each other, may already be in themselves pleasant.
Also, not all are fully satisfactory climax. There are partial discharge vents where only a fraction of excitement. (...)
As everyone should know, at the level of feelings and experience, no two the same sex. No orgasm is the same as another. Things and events sono uguali solo quando l'affettività è assente. Là dove entrano in gioco i sentimenti ogni esperienza è unica.
Reich usava il termine "orgasmo" in un senso particolarissimo per riferirsi al completo abbandono all'eccitazione sessuale, con il coinvolgimento totale del corpo nei movimenti convulsi della scarica. A volte questo orgasmo si verifica ed è un esperienza estatica. Ma, come riconosceva lo stesso Reich, è anche decisamente raro. Una totalità di risposta a qualsiasi situazione è insolita nella nostra cultura. Siamo tutti troppo carichi di conflitti per poterci abbandonare pienamente a qualsiasi sensazione.
Penso che il termine "orgasmo" dovrebbe essere limitato allo sfogo sessuale che è accompagnato nice movements, spontaneous, jerky and involuntary body and pelvis and is seen as satisfactory. When the feeling of the discharge and the vent is only involved to the reproductive system the experience is too limited because it can call orgasm. Should be described as a man and woman as premature climax. To qualify as an orgasm the discharge must be extended to other parts of the body - at least to the pelvis and legs - and should appear pleasant and involuntary movements. Orgasm should be an experience that moves and moves .
If the whole body and being of the individual move spontaneously, especially if the heart responds, then we have a full orgasm. That 's what we all hope to achieve in sexual activity.
an orgasm, which is wholly or partially in terms of physical involvement, low voltage parts that respond actively. But the download is not permanent. In everyday life we \u200b\u200bare constantly under stress, then tensions can reform. Only a satisfying sex life - and not an isolated - can contruibuire to keep down the voltage level of the body.
I do not want to create a mystical orgasm, although I believe a primary importance. But it is not the only way to relieve tension and should not even be consciously used for this purpose. Do not cry to release tension; we cry because we are sad, and yet crying is one of the basic ways to release tension. Although the full orgasm is the mechanism of discharge most satisfactory and effective, that does not mean that sex without an orgasm of this type without climax or sexual union is empty of meaning and pleasure. Have sex for pleasure and this must be the guiding principle of our sexual behavior. I just want to emphasize that the full orgasm is more pleasant to the point of being able to reach the level of ecstasy. But since the degree of pleasure depends on the amount of pre-excitation, which is not subject to control and will, we should be happy to try any it is the level.

From "Bioenergetics - Alexander Lowen

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Tips to conquer your woman


She is sitting at a table in the room. Alone and beautiful. When your eyes meet, you can not help but notice that blink of an eye and lips that hint at a smile. A little voice inside tells you that you groped the first step. But for now not to trip (or even later), read on and make full of advice: do not make a wrong move. It really is the right time. The first approach


If your deodorant works, you have 15 seconds to prove you're not just another turkey who just wants to take them off her panties. The important thing is to show you safe, charming and determined. As suggested by Laura Rivolta, psychologist and sexologist in Milan, "a short sentence, but that impact is: Try to tickle his vanity: make an assessment on a piece of clothing you wear, and perhaps ask her where she bought. Demonstrate think that taste and you are not insensitive to his desire to please. If you comment on the colors and the style of its makeup, will send into raptures. Avoid the attitude "pupa, you do not know who I am" did not work even for Leonardo DiCaprio, that the first Spider-Man tried to tow a dancer doing urgently appealing to his celebrity. He was scaricato senza troppi complimenti, e nulla lascia credere che a te possa andare meglio.

La prima telefonata
Bene, hai avuto il suo cellulare. Ma non esaltarti troppo: è proprio qui che molti sbagliano, perchè si illudono di averla in pugno. Invece devi ancora strapparle un "sì" decisivo, quello da cui dipende la continuazione di una storia che non è ancora iniziata. Entro due giorni da quando l'hai avuto, chiamala e proponile una data precisa per un appuntamento. Dille: "Martedì ti andrebbe di cenare da MyKonos? Posso passare a prenderti alle otto". Fissa sempre il primo appuntamento in una serata infrasettimanale: è più facile che sia libera (anche da impegni con il tipo che magari sta frequentando in quel periodo). In ogni caso, non ti venga in mente di belare "se ti capita di essere libera la prossima settimana...". Devi essere forte, deciso e risoluto. Perchè così le donne amano che sia l'uomo.

La prima serata fuori
E' seduta al tavolo con te. Questo significa che, almeno un pò, le interessi. Per portarla fuori la prima volta, cura ovviamente il look, ma non vestirti con un'eccessiva eleganza. Valla a prendere sotto casa e, quando arrivate al ristorante (l'hai invitata a cena, giusto?), accompagnala al tavolo con una mano appoggiata alla spalla o sul fianco: "Sentirà che la tua attenzione è tutta per lei", spiega la dottoressa Rivolta. Poi non comportarti like when you go in a restaurant with friends, and when the bill comes, do not exhibit bundles of bucks to impress ... The most elegant solution is the credit card because even if you spent a huge amount, you need not worry about it until next month ... But back to this: everything is going well and now here again there at the door of his house. At the time of yours, if you have not lifted the elbow, you should be able to tell if you limit yourself to a brotherly kiss on the cheek (translation: "it was all a misunderstanding") or if you can risk something more daring. But do not try to strip the seats of the car. If after a couple of kisses with clinging do not propose to go up, under the facts and say goodbye really: in any case there will be a next time and probably the final will be even more spicy. Do not forget to call you within 24 hours to tell you that you have been well with you and ask you to go out together again. Although it delivered flowers is an idea that you will like for sure.

The first morning after
Upon waking after the first night of sex, remember two simple rules: degassed by and pet them. And if you really must go (you have a meeting at 9), does not give the impression to escape. Although I am 6:08 in the morning, a "how about breakfast?" whispered gently, will turn the other side believes that sei il solito bastardo che non vede l'ora di tagliare la corda.

Il primo incontro con i suoi genitori
Ormai sei compromesso (per libera scelta, ovviamente). E quindi ti tocca conoscere mamma e papà. "Anche perchè guadagnare il consenso dei genitori della tua ragazza è stragicamente molto importante", spiega il dottor Giuseppe Sampognaro, psicologo e psicoterapeuta a Siracursa. Per conquistare la loro stima, presentati al primo incontro con un pensiero poco impegnativo: vanno bene una pianta come una bottiglia di vino dolce, oppure un dessert da consumare dopo cena. Se farai così, sembrerai proprio un gentleman vecchio stampo. "E una volta a tavola con i potenziali futuri suoceri non esagerare con le domande, not always just talk about you and never open your mouth too often, "says Sampognaro. If, despite all your good will, the conversation languished, he speaks of the excellent qualities of their daughter. (...) The next day, if all goes well, send her parents a note of thanks: a touch of class that will impress even further.

The first serious talk about your relationship
E 'mathematician. At some point in your history, she'll ask, "What is the future of our history?". answer that it is too early to talk about it, as do many men, it can be very risky. "Of course, if you asked him after only one month, his application may be premature. But after six months were to ask, you better know how to respond appropriately, "says Dr. Roberto Bernorio ..." Women put such questions when they feel the need to be reassured and accepted, "says our expert. So "early stage of the report tries to give her security, but remember that the promises are a boomerang that could come back." If you think your story can work, however, tell him clearly: you will be grateful. And know how to repay duty.

The first argument
Sooner or later it will happen though ... When discussing for the first time, know that she will judge you on two detectors: Are you ruthless and listen to what you know. "Even if your health would be better to download the anger, in this case you will try to keep the insults," says Dr. Sompognaro. And if you were just an escape, excused now: why the harsh words may remain etched in his mind for eternity and then to peep at the least suitable. "If the discussion goes on for more than ten minutes, you have to stop," warns Sampognaro yet. Distraila with sweetness, And invite to talk about that tomorrow, a fresh mind, to avoid giving the impression of evading them.
This is a demonstration of maturity. The next morning, when they arrived the roses you ordered, anger is subsided and she is ready to forget.

The first holiday
You are excited to go together, but be careful not to run into a catastrophe. There is always a need for a minimum of programming. Throw down a list of things you both want to make absolutely (nap on the beach, abseil to descend from the mountains, perhaps to macramé lace) and then, more importantly, will prepare a draft for those who want to spend time separately. Falle note that it is an advantage for her, saying, for example: "I do not want to bore you with all the nonsense that I plan to do, so why do not you take a couple of hours a day to do our own things?" .

The first "yes" (hopefully only)
Take as an example Paul McCartney, who asked Hearther Mills to marry him during a dinner by candlelight on the beach, giving her a ring with sapphires and diamonds, is not for everyone. If you want to ask her to marry you, no need to think how to bring it to Venice or to prepare a banner to be displayed at the stadium: they are glamorous, but there are better ones. "Put yourself in his shoes and imagine what she might find romantic and unforgettable," advises Jason Rich, author of Will You Marry Me ... Plan everything in advance and try to say out loud what you want. "Improvising is certainly a mistake: you may forget to ask her to marry you or tell her you love her, "says Rich. As he says, is so serious as to make us think that he has really happened! But you see above all not to forget the 'ring: it is banal and predictable, but it is also one for which she will remember forever. Even if your marriage ends with an agreement on food ...

Gerardo and Adriana Amedei Antonelli from "Men's Health No. 40 "

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seduction tips per uomini da Rossella Brescia


As a compliment to a beautiful girl like you already know that deserve it?
"It is important to express the compliments with words. Maybe a look of admiration, not vulgar, it can do the same, if not more. Compliment the other hand, is free from pimps: it is better if you get there step by step.'d Be more credible. The big difference is whether one is a compliment both to ...", or because it really thinks. Often, men are praising your beauty to get something in return. And most times it's just to attract attention. "

We talk about the first step. In front of a" beautiful "a man can also be intimidating. In fact, usually intimidating. From our point of view is really a disaster ... and yours?
"A little shyness can also be interesting, because curious. But if you allow yourself not to overdo it, women end up misunderstood your attitude with a genuine lack of interest.

So, for the beautiful, the shy are not sensitive, but the loser: it?
"It is assumed that by" great "one has learned to communicate by managing their emotions."

So what should we do?
"You must not be neither too shy nor bold. Do not be afraid of being" inferior "just because a pretty girl in front of you while you're not a model of a six feet. It is from this that a woman, beautiful or not , judge a man. Al same time do not be cheeky. On the street, for example, the joke may be funny, to please a woman, but you must never exaggerate becoming vulgar. "

Imagine being in a room. We do not know, you're not famous, but you're beautiful as you are . ... I am normal. How should I approach?
"The truth is that I do not trust a lot of people I met in a club or a disco that I would address

...". Well, give me a chance! As I know you?
"Imagine being a small party or dinner with a group of mutual friends. In this case, if you're shy but you seem like an interesting, maybe I can even be the one to break the ice, opening a conversation to meet you. Otherwise, I think you have to commit a little bit to make the first stop. "

And what can I say?
" does not really matter. Just do not start talking without saying anything concrete. And 'one of the things that makes you do terrible shyness: the endless speeches and empty. That are intrusive and counterproductive. The attention you get more by making a dry joke. If you say something intelligent to say, otherwise shut up. "

speak of clothing: something is wrong in the suit that a man should never commit?
" For me, I say just watch out for shoes. Reflect your personality more than anything else. Then see to keep them clean.

But a beautiful woman looking for a handsome or beautiful can not even think about having hope?
"I'm still in love with beautiful men. What counts is the personality. It fascinates me how to express themselves, even non-verbally. Gestures. More than appearance, I love the kindness. The way you make me feel more secure, always held on a pedestal. Attitudes today have lost a little bit. "

They always say that we have to make women laugh. But we must do it by force?
" Oh no! A dead man no! I happened to end up dinner for two, and think "Oh, now I'm saying?" because it continued to be quiet. Well, talk to a brilliant man is important. And how! Of course, you should not strive to be the comedian of the situation: the clown is just selfishness. "

And the men who show off their culture to conquer, what do you think?
" If it's true culture is fine, but not be a tool that uses them all. However, an educated man is always fascinating

...". And the money can be used to show off?
"ends as soon as you do. So there are men, and apparently some attacks. But in the end, have the woman you deserve. "

We have put together: I certainly worry that everyone will make the court. How do you hold on a beautiful woman?
"let loose. Imposes more restrictions and more you will miss. It can be difficult, I understand. But you know how to live with these things. And then, if not by the trust, you can not claim."

Massimo Castelli interview with Rossella Brescia from "Men's Health No. 40"

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L'amore è una droga?


Of all the love stories, the saga of Celtic Tristan and Isolde is probably the most ruthless. Isolde wants revenge crudelmente di Tristano che ha ucciso in combattimento il suo amato. Ma quando lo sguardo di Tristano cade su di lei, il suo odio si trasforma contro la sua volontà in attrazione. E quando la sua ancella sostituisce per errore con un filtro d'amore il filtro di morte preparato per lei e Tristano, i due giovani non riescono più a resistere alla loro passione. Ora non importa loro più nulla, se non stare vicini l'uno all'altra. Nella loro estasi, Tristano e Isotta sono pronti addirittura a tradire il buon re Marco, zio di Tristano e ora marito di Isotta, e, quando la loro storia d'amore diventa nota, ad affrontare insieme la morte. Che cosa li ha spinti fino a questo punto? (...)

Nell'euforia dell'amore il partner sembra un essere del tutto speciale. Niente e nessuno può trasportarci in una disposizione di spirito così appassionata come lui o come lei, quando siamo innamorati. Questi sentimenti romantici compaiono spesso nel cervello assieme a uno stato peculiare di eccitazione, in cui i confini della propria persona sembrano dissolversi. I poeti hanno descritto da sempre quest'esperienza; poco tempo fa i ricercatori londinesi Andreas Bartels e Semir Zeki hanno mostrato che l'ebbrezza dell'innamoramento è accessibile anche alla ricerca scientifica. Essi cercarono attraverso Internet soggetti sperimentali fra gli studenti di Londra e dintorni che si ritenessero innamorati "truly , madly and deeply", ossia "davvero, follemente e profondamente". La maggior parte dei soggetti che si presentarono furono ragazze.
Per accertare in che cosa consistesse lo stato dell'essere innamorati, Barltes e Zeki sottoposero i loro soggetti alla risonanza magnetica. Nel corso dell'esperimento mostrarono innanzitutto ai soggetti fotografie di amici con i quali non avessero avuto alcun rapporto sessuale, e chiesero loro di pensare intensamente alle persone ritratte. Contemporaneamente gli scienziati osservarono la loro attività cerebrale con la macchina per la risonanza magnetica.
Poi sostituirono le immagini di amici con ritratti del loro partner. Ora i soggetti dovevano pensare intensamente al partner, mentre i ricercatori continuavano a osservarne l'attività cerebrale. Il confronto dell'attività cerebrale osservata nei due casi permise di riconosce l'effetto esercitato sul cervello dai sentimenti amorosi per il partner: Bartles e Zeki accertarono un modello di attività cerebrale del tutto simile a quello che si riscontra quando una persona è sotto l'effetto di una droga. L'euforia dell'amore è dunque del tutto paragonabile all'effetto dell'eroina e della cocaina.
Dal punto di vista neurobiologico ciò non sorprende, poichè le droghe da un lato e gli elisir d'amore ossitocina e vasopressina dall'altro, operano sugli stessi circuiti cerebrali. Entrambi gli insiemi di sostanze rispondono a sistemi in cui svolge un ruolo essenziale la dopammina, l'ormone del desiderio. E così dev'essere perchè possa instaurarsi un legame col Partners: dopamine, as we have seen, it stimulates attention and arouses the desire. The neuropsychologist
Jaak Panksepp treats addiction to love: in the latter case, you create a connection with a drug, the first with a person. The similarity is particularly apparent at the time of separation in withdrawal symptoms if the drug, and in the case of rupture of the relationship in love. This results in both cases, the mood of loneliness and emptiness, loss of appetite, exhaustion, insomnia and irritability.
Over time the addict usually becomes insensitive pleasing effect of a drug, as well as the stimuli of a loved one can sometimes lose their effectiveness. However we frequently encounter in couples whose eyes shine again after decades of living together. Then there must be a mechanism that opposes the end of love and that can protect humans from suffering adverse effects with their partner as those of drugs. It seems that here too
action be oxytocin. The experiments conducted on animals suggest that this hormone can at least weaken the habituation to pleasant feelings. If these results are confirmed, this would mean that sex is the magic formula for a love able to live a long time. Finally, oxytocin is released at the height of the sexual relationship, perhaps it takes the couple's relationship to the function of an elixir of youth that fuels the fire della passione.

Da "La formula della felicità" - Stefan Klein

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Oltre Freud: amore, odio e attaccamento


Spesso miglioriamo la nostra conoscenza di un qualcosa esaminandone l'opposto, o il suo complemento. Questo era, in sostanza, l'approccio di Sigmund Freud alla domanda "Cos'è l'amore?" e sarà anche il nostro punto di partenza. Freud ha prodotto tre risposte diverse, paragonando l'amore a tre tipi di opposti: amare contrapposto all'essere amato; amore contrapposto all'odio e amore contrapposto all'indifferenza, che a, sua volta, è l'opposto sia dell'odio, sia dell'amore. Anche se Freud non conosceva la filosofia cinese in generale e il taoismo in particolare, ha ripreso - involontariamente - alcune delle sue idee più antiche, in particolare nel concetto che tali coppie non sono opposti , bensì complementi . Ciascuno è necessario per l'esistenza dell'altro. (...)
Quando due persone si amano reciprocamente, ricambiando l'amore, sono in armonia con il Tao; la Via. Questo tipo di amore è una completezza reciproca di se stessi nell'altro e con l'altro.
Gli esseri umani cercano costantemente questo tipo di completamento. A volte lo trovano e dura per tutta la vita. Quando questo avviene, la luna di miele non finisce mai. (...)

La seconda coppia degli opposti di Freud - l'amore and hatred - in reality does nothing but propose another ancient philosophical principle of Chinese and Indian tradition: the idea of \u200b\u200battachment. Even if love and hate are two diametrically opposite feelings are bound by a supplementary report, just like the negative and positive effects of a single magnet. You can not separate them. If you break the magnet in two, you have two smaller magnets, each of which will still have a positive and a negative. As an investment of emotion in someone or something else - then a kind of magnetic alignment - love and hate are two poles of a magnet which is called "attachment." In this sense, are inseparable. Having the ability to feel a feeling, it also means having the capacità di provare l'altro.
Così, una volta che l'attaccamento si è formato, può manifestarsi come amore, odio o un miscuglio di entrambi: la classica relazione di "amore/odio" che molti provano nei confronti di se stessi, degli altri, del proprio lavoro o del proprio paese. E questo è il punto in cui l'analogia con il magnete inizia a perdere di efficacia, poichè l'amore e l'odio sono da considerare più uno spettro che non i poli di un magnete: uno spettro che comprende una vasta gamma di emozioni. La maggior parte delle relazioni d'amore di natura romantica si forma all'estremità positiva dello spettro, ma alcune, gradualmente, tendono a scivolare verso l'estremità negativa. Sentimenti forti can become positive and negative feelings - just as strong - and humans are easily caught in this trap. Once you make an emotional investment in others, this can go wrong for reasons that go beyond your immediate awareness, but not for reasons that go to beyond your understanding.
When you accept the investment of love that someone is on you - like it or not - and you make it part of you, you're also driving a Trojan horse that penetrates the fortress of your being. This gift of love comes with a lot of "appurtenances." In principle, it is simply the normal human imperfections present in the other, which, initially, we are willing to ignore, if it was that we notice. As noted acutely
Shekespeare, love is blind. At first everything is pink, because the focus is on the positive aspects. As you get used to it, or you start to take them for granted, your focus shifts inevitably aspects that you get nervous and you end up not tolerate. And this is how, sometimes, love is transformed into its opposite: a positive attachment that turns into a negative. (...)
There are, fortunately, other types of love, where the positive aspect that inevitably does not turn negative, but to discover them we must go beyond Freud. As for Freud, the emotional attachments always enhance their opposites. In a loving relationship if the basis of attachment is to the ego gratification, then agreed that this attachment is potentially dangerous and that has the ability to express its polar opposite, anger or hatred within of the report and cause other illnesses when the relationship is over sadness or regret.
The third dimension of love, according to Freud, is to recognize the opposite of love and hate, namely, indifference. If you're indifferent to something or someone, you do not do any emotional investment. And without it you can not love either, and neither hate. This allows you to be absolutely impartial and rational, which, often, it is useful. Also forms the basis of Stoicism, whose main idea is not to overestimate what can be of anything taken away from others, because if you do, you over in their power. If you attack too much to the persons or things, get ready to have trouble.
(...) This kind of indifference is not insensitivity or lack of compassion. And 'the ability not to charge excessive importance of the events, even when they seem to directly involve your person. And 'how to stay cool under fire. It allows you to give your best even under stress.
The advantage is that indifference to pain prevents you from attachments to anything negative. Indifference, however, also means that you are not able to experience pleasure from a positive attachment.
If you cross your life trying to be indifferent to things and people to save you discomfort, you dispose of commitment and joy.
can also be a rock in a forest surrounded by all kinds of living beings, and exposed to all elements and the seasons, but unable to relate to them.
Believe it or not, you can experience instant gratification without happiness, and sadness, without much suffering. Can relate with others and live as best as possible, yet at the same time, you can cultivate a detachment that allows you to keep clear of the roller coaster of emotions where, instead, is wrapped around the Most people, though not always realize it. But to succeed you should absolutely go beyond the "pleasure principle" by Freud - that is beyond the concept that the main concern of the human being is to seek pleasure and avoid pain - and therefore go beyond the conception of love, just as rewarding attachment.

"The feeling of happiness that comes from an instinctive impulse to meet wild, untamed by the ego is incomparably more intense than that derived from satisfying an instinct, however, has been tamed."
Sigmund Freud

From "The pills of Aristotle" - Lou Marinoff

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Did Female Doctor Check Men Penis ?

Il Potere della Seduzione



Migliorare la nostra vita di relazione? Conquistare la persona che desideriamo in poco tempo? Rendere più appagante la tua vita sessuale? Questo non solo è possibile, è anche facile e divertente, tanto più perché non è necessario altro che attingere a capacità di cui siamo già in possesso. L’unico sforzo che dobbiamo fare è trovarle dentro di noi e tirarle fuori con fiducia e determinazione. L’avere carisma, l’essere intriganti ed ammaliatori, il magnetismo e il fascino sono tutte caratteristiche che hanno poco a che spartire con la bellezza fisica, con il denaro, con social position. They are rather the communication skills to represent the winning of the best teachers in the history of seduction. So much so that the trump cards of the great seducers, from Casanova to Don Giovanni, are not in the sphere of aesthetic traits, but are mostly due to their competence and skill in terms of communication.
In a nutshell it's all about personal power you believe in yourself, know your values \u200b\u200band goals, knowing where you're going, how to communicate to others their identity and their mission. Anyone of us, even if you do not take advantage of a particular aesthetic attractiveness, can learn and acquire specific communication strategies and behavior, greatly improving their ability to conquer. Just in regular exercise and verify the application of these models will soon ease and naturalness unexpected in creating new social relations.
Having the bank account of Bill Gates, being as beautiful as Brad Pitt and Sharon Stone, driving a gleaming Ferrari is all too easy to believe that these are the qualities that serve to seduce a person. It 's easy to attract if you have access to these weapons: they can work, sure, but these objects are to be seduced, and not the people who own them. And a relationship based on attraction of material goods has nothing to do with the ability of good seducer. In reality the individual is not seeking money or beauty, or material goods, seeks the satisfaction of its values, satisfaction that is achieved by living specific moods. The key to seduction is right here: if we can meet the emotional needs of a person, mean to you the satisfaction of his emotional needs and, therefore, establish a true addiction for us. In this way it will end, in a short time, with the fall for us.
How many romantic movies the protagonist falls in love with an ordinary person, rather than the handsome wealthy and surrounded by luxury? It does nothing but repeat what you feel rich, just as if he lived in a luxury apartment full of expensive items and accessories. In short, if we can not buy a Ferrari to seduce a person, we can make it up on our cars and make them feel as if you were on a luxury car: we just have to adjust your mood, your inner emotions that you have jumping in the car next to us. (...)

... the mood is merely the result of our experiences, our
references and our beliefs about ourselves and others in a given time. And 'as if at the same time, in our mental jukebox, playing dozens of songs together, a mix of many factors that we can learn to control in an easy e veloce. Le canzoni più forti e influenti sono le nostre rappresentazioni interne, il nostro dialogo interiore e la nostra fisiologia, cioè il modo in cui gestiamo i movimenti e gli atteggiamenti corporei.
A sua volta lo stato d’animo ha una fortissima influenza su quali decisioni prendiamo, o scegliamo di non prendere, e di conseguenza sul modo in cui ci comportiamo, in ogni attimo della nostra vita. In che modo tutto questo è utile ai fini di un esito positivo delle nostre strategie di seduzione? E’ presto detto: quando una persona ci interessa, e di conseguenza vogliamo attrarla, dobbiamo convincerla che noi siamo proprio la persona più giusta per lei, facendo così modificare l’atteggiamento ed il comportamento that against us. And to do just enough to go to act on his mood, and the factors that influence it.
reconsider the concept of internal representations: they are nothing but our thoughts, the way in our mind we depict the world. In our minds because each of us plays memories, emotions and ideas to give them meaning and to relive them. Some see still images, bright, colorful and crisp as if it were a painting located a short distance from their eyes. Others depict as if in a movie, then display a sequence of moving images, blurred and fuzzy.
But maybe also the case for the predominance of acoustic mode of reproduction internal events: that you hear a sound or a voice that speaks with a certain tone. A third option instead gives preference to the inner emotions, this is the case of those who, in mentally reconstruct an event or memory, feel a certain kind of inner feelings: a burning sensation in the stomach or a strong heartbeat. All of these sub personal representation of reality are a treasure trove: variandole may from time to time to modify the inner perception of everything, therefore we can change feelings, emotions and attitudes of the protagonist of those perceptions. (...)

From knowing how to use the strategies of representation of reality in a way that we manage unconscious, the applicable to the sphere of seduction, the pitch is very short. Take for example the access strategy to the mood of attraction. What is it that triggers in us the attraction for a person? When someone fascinates us? We just see it? Or is it his voice to excite us? Or is the feeling we experience when we are with you to help us understand who we are attracted? Certainly, whatever our case, it is certain that anyone who wants to seduce us will not have to do is use that situation to make us fall
in its network. And, above all, that is also true: if we know the strategy of the potential partner, seduction will surely to sign. From a technical point of view, access to a state of mind through language depends on the fact that our brains, to understand any language structure, sentence or expression, it needs to revive an unconscious level the emotion on the meaning of the words .
Returning to the metaphor of mental jukebox, we can say any word that is equivalent to a button to call up a particular song, and then a certain mood.

From "Seduction" - Giacomo Bruno

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Women Competitive Wrestling

Linguaggio del corpo e sicurezza di sè


stop someone randomly on the street e chiedi come comunicano gli esseri umani. E' molto probabile che ti risponderanno "A parole". La verità è che "diciamo" in media 12 cose silenziosamente per ogni messaggio verbale. Quasi tutti i ricercatori concordono nell'affermare che per il 65% la comunicazione avviene attraverso i messaggi non verbali del linguaggio del corpo - molti sostengono che si avvicini addirittura al 90%! Alcuni di questi segnali li mandiamo in modo consapevole - come mostrare a un amico il pollice alzato quando ha fatto un bel discorso o strizzare l'occhio a qualcuno per condividere uno scherzo. Altri - la maggior parte - no. Inconsciamente inviamo un flusso costante di gesti che rivelano i nostri più profondi pensieri e sentimenti. Il modo in cui camminiamo, stiamo in piedi, ci sediamo e ci alziamo riflettono il nostro modo di vedere la vita e come questa ci ha trattato. La prima impressione è difficile da dimenticare perchè molto spesso è precisa - il linguaggio del corpo riflette quello che siamo in un modo di cui spesso non siamo coscienti noi stessi!

Se trovi che tutto questo sia un pò preoccupante, benvenuto nel club. (...)
Leggere il linguaggio del corpo non è utile solo quando sei in mezzo agli altri. Interpretare il proprio linguaggio del corpo può aiutarti a riconoscere emozioni nascoste che si agitano appena sotto la linea di coscienza. Ti rendi consapevole dei segnali che invii agli altri, aiutandoti a capire le loro reazioni nei tuoi confronti. Portare aggiustamenti o alterare volontariamente il tuo linguaggio del corpo quando sei con altre persone, innalza di molto le tue probabilità di essere apprezzato, amato e rispettato, spesso permettendoti di ottenere quello che vuoi senza dover dire nemmeno una parola! Come? La comprensione del linguaggio del corpo ti permette di raccogliere informazioni sui sentimenti degli altri, anche se sono troppo timidi, educati o bloccati per ammetterlo. Un movimento del sopracciglio ti fa sapere se piaci a qualcuno prima ancora che l'interessato abbia registrato il pensiero. Vogliamo provare?

Vuoi un partner a lungo termine? Vuoi diventare in generale più ricercato, sicuro di te e autorevole? Non riesco a pensare a un modo più efficace per fare tutto questo che padroneggiare l'arte del linguaggio del corpo.

Molto di quello che spiego si basa sul principio "fingi finchè non riesci". Significa semplicemente che se cambi il tuo linguaggio corporeo, puoi cambiare anche i tuoi atteggiamenti, le tue percezioni e le tue emozioni. (...) Poichè esso riflette la nostra personalità, ne consegue che particolari gesti e comportamenti sono associati a particolari personalità. L'esempio più semplice è questo: le persone felici sorridono, le persone arrabbiate hanno le sopracciglia aggrottate. Stampati in faccia un sorriso e gli altri penseranno che sei felice, aggrotta le sopracciglia e penseranno che non lo sei. Quindi se assumi i gesti e gli atteggiamenti relativi alla personalità che vorresti avere, gli altri ti vedranno as if I had that personality. Say, for example, that you're shy. Act as a person sure of himself - well you're right and look people in the eye - and others will treat you as confident, because that is how people behave safely.
Now comes the magic part: as you behave well, others now think that you are well. It does not matter if there is confusion within you crazy, all I see is an appearance the other cold and safe. This affects how they react. To secure people's if you ask an opinion, then they will probably also with you. Even if you're a little nervous and surprised because this will not happen normally, probably be able to come up with something and - "Wow I did it!" - Suddenly you feel a little more important. You will begin to feel more confident and this will trigger the chain reaction. Initially, pretend - pretend with body language to be something they're not. But do this for a long time, and eventually the body language really reflects you, because you will become that person.

You have to work also on the causes of your shyness, as well as on body language. But who ever said that there is an order to follow to improve themselves? Sometimes we think too much. So what do you say to turn off your brain for a while, forget how you feel inside, and focus instead on purely external illusion? Walk erect and even your self-esteem will rise. Facial expressions can also alter the mood. It is called "facial feedback effect": your expression reinforces the emotion that caused because the precise position of the facial muscles send signals to the brain. Stretches his lips into a smile and the brain will register that you're smiling and issue the hormonal responses that normally accompany a real smile and the feeling of happiness. Our "happy face" and "feelings of happiness" is in a sense both influence each other.

I hope this is enough in some way to respond to those who consider it "false" using body language or any other device to improve our appearance because "it's what's inside that counts" and "it is bad or manipulative pretend to be something that is not." I believe that we must let these people all of a piece you know how they like, but I firmly believe that in some situations, such as appointments, job interviews, is in the interest of all present under the best possible light. Most people strive to look good and behave better in these circumstances - especially if it's hot date. And he's right

From "Conquistala so" - Tracey Cox (Annex Fox Man No. 8 / 2005)

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