Spesso miglioriamo la nostra conoscenza di un qualcosa esaminandone l'opposto, o il suo complemento. Questo era, in sostanza, l'approccio di Sigmund Freud alla domanda "Cos'è l'amore?" e sarà anche il nostro punto di partenza. Freud ha prodotto tre risposte diverse, paragonando l'amore a tre tipi di opposti: amare contrapposto all'essere amato; amore contrapposto all'odio e amore contrapposto all'indifferenza, che a, sua volta, è l'opposto sia dell'odio, sia dell'amore. Anche se Freud non conosceva la filosofia cinese in generale e il taoismo in particolare, ha ripreso - involontariamente - alcune delle sue idee più antiche, in particolare nel concetto che tali coppie non sono opposti , bensì complementi . Ciascuno è necessario per l'esistenza dell'altro. (...)
Quando due persone si amano reciprocamente, ricambiando l'amore, sono in armonia con il Tao; la Via. Questo tipo di amore è una completezza reciproca di se stessi nell'altro e con l'altro.
Gli esseri umani cercano costantemente questo tipo di completamento. A volte lo trovano e dura per tutta la vita. Quando questo avviene, la luna di miele non finisce mai. (...)
La seconda coppia degli opposti di Freud - l'amore and hatred - in reality does nothing but propose another ancient philosophical principle of Chinese and Indian tradition: the idea of \u200b\u200battachment. Even if love and hate are two diametrically opposite feelings are bound by a supplementary report, just like the negative and positive effects of a single magnet. You can not separate them. If you break the magnet in two, you have two smaller magnets, each of which will still have a positive and a negative. As an investment of emotion in someone or something else - then a kind of magnetic alignment - love and hate are two poles of a magnet which is called "attachment." In this sense, are inseparable. Having the ability to feel a feeling, it also means having the capacità di provare l'altro.
Così, una volta che l'attaccamento si è formato, può manifestarsi come amore, odio o un miscuglio di entrambi: la classica relazione di "amore/odio" che molti provano nei confronti di se stessi, degli altri, del proprio lavoro o del proprio paese. E questo è il punto in cui l'analogia con il magnete inizia a perdere di efficacia, poichè l'amore e l'odio sono da considerare più uno spettro che non i poli di un magnete: uno spettro che comprende una vasta gamma di emozioni. La maggior parte delle relazioni d'amore di natura romantica si forma all'estremità positiva dello spettro, ma alcune, gradualmente, tendono a scivolare verso l'estremità negativa. Sentimenti forti can become positive and negative feelings - just as strong - and humans are easily caught in this trap. Once you make an emotional investment in others, this can go wrong for reasons that go beyond your immediate awareness, but not for reasons that go to beyond your understanding.
When you accept the investment of love that someone is on you - like it or not - and you make it part of you, you're also driving a Trojan horse that penetrates the fortress of your being. This gift of love comes with a lot of "appurtenances." In principle, it is simply the normal human imperfections present in the other, which, initially, we are willing to ignore, if it was that we notice. As noted acutely
Shekespeare, love is blind. At first everything is pink, because the focus is on the positive aspects. As you get used to it, or you start to take them for granted, your focus shifts inevitably aspects that you get nervous and you end up not tolerate. And this is how, sometimes, love is transformed into its opposite: a positive attachment that turns into a negative. (...)
There are, fortunately, other types of love, where the positive aspect that inevitably does not turn negative, but to discover them we must go beyond Freud. As for Freud, the emotional attachments always enhance their opposites. In a loving relationship if the basis of attachment is to the ego gratification, then agreed that this attachment is potentially dangerous and that has the ability to express its polar opposite, anger or hatred within of the report and cause other illnesses when the relationship is over sadness or regret.
The third dimension of love, according to Freud, is to recognize the opposite of love and hate, namely, indifference. If you're indifferent to something or someone, you do not do any emotional investment. And without it you can not love either, and neither hate. This allows you to be absolutely impartial and rational, which, often, it is useful. Also forms the basis of Stoicism, whose main idea is not to overestimate what can be of anything taken away from others, because if you do, you over in their power. If you attack too much to the persons or things, get ready to have trouble.
(...) This kind of indifference is not insensitivity or lack of compassion. And 'the ability not to charge excessive importance of the events, even when they seem to directly involve your person. And 'how to stay cool under fire. It allows you to give your best even under stress.
The advantage is that indifference to pain prevents you from attachments to anything negative. Indifference, however, also means that you are not able to experience pleasure from a positive attachment.
If you cross your life trying to be indifferent to things and people to save you discomfort, you dispose of commitment and joy.
can also be a rock in a forest surrounded by all kinds of living beings, and exposed to all elements and the seasons, but unable to relate to them.
Believe it or not, you can experience instant gratification without happiness, and sadness, without much suffering. Can relate with others and live as best as possible, yet at the same time, you can cultivate a detachment that allows you to keep clear of the roller coaster of emotions where, instead, is wrapped around the Most people, though not always realize it. But to succeed you should absolutely go beyond the "pleasure principle" by Freud - that is beyond the concept that the main concern of the human being is to seek pleasure and avoid pain - and therefore go beyond the conception of love, just as rewarding attachment.
"The feeling of happiness that comes from an instinctive impulse to meet wild, untamed by the ego is incomparably more intense than that derived from satisfying an instinct, however, has been tamed."
Sigmund Freud
From "The pills of Aristotle" - Lou Marinoff
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